Aging

 

What's your personal take/experience with an older person being a sub?

Hello lovely! Thank you for writing in. I could give you the simple answer of “do whatever you want! be whatever you want at any age!” But that refrain, while true, can begin to feel tired when we live in a culture that devalues and desexualizes older people. And that is fucked. Further, when it comes to women, society insists on infantilizing all of us and sexualizing young women and basically it just becomes a lose/lose/lose situation across the board.

We live in a culture that devalues and desexualizes older people. And that is fucked.

Enter: kink. The DDlg community (Daddy Dom/little girl, Mommy/boy, Mommy/girl, Daddy/boy, Parent/nonbinary-baby etc.) take the supposition that women/subs are weak little babies and responds by OWNING softness. Implementing INTENTIONAL power imbalance. Declaring that vulnerability is kinky, is queer, is revolutionary. For other couples it’s less political and they just like to watch Disney movies together and that’s cool too! But my point in bringing up DDlg relationships and ageplay in general is to point out that kink can create an imaginary safe-haven that removes age from the equation. The relative ages are irrelevant, and the roles assigned derive from what turns everybody on, not how old the participating partners are.

If you’re not a little, age is even more irrelevant. Whatever makes you comfortable is what you get. There are kinksters of all ages who are raring to play with an older sub. Whether you want to bring age in is up to you. Would it feel fun to engage in some humiliation and verbal degradation play around your age? Or, if cathartic tears aren’t what you’re after, maybe just going into subspace and forgetting your number is more your speed. No matter what, older subs have every right to take up space in this community. I celebrate you, and any Dom worth your time will too. Now get out there and get tied up with your hot self!