“Going into our first, second, and third threesomes, I was deeply worried the experience would estrange me from my partner. . . . [But] threesomes have strengthened our relationship in ways I could never have imagined.”

But the hardware store, like most oppressive patriarchal institutions, has some beneficial uses if queered.

You can only be your best, subbiest self if you’re also taking very good care of yourself, so let your sexual appetites lead the way to treating your body like a temple.